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The Dangerous Breath


I know you have definitely, at least once, smelled a really bad breath. But that's probably nothing compared to TD's horrendous smell. You can smell it an entire hallway away, especially when he's eaten something for breakfast. Sometimes you have to wonder what he does eat. Dead rats, maybe? Or some rabbit roadkill? I would rather die than smell this kid's blast again. I mean, whenever I'm near this kid, my nose just wrinkles up, without me doing it on purpose. Inside his mouth, as I unfortunately had experienced before, is a bunch of crooked, yellow teeth. Ever heard of toothpaste? It's a wondeful creation that has been invented for a couple centuries now, so why not use the beautiful product? I'm extremely sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said. Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find your brain back there. Unless it's too small, even your pathetic two eyes can't see it. TD's breath could share the shit out of a dirty, awful, and used toilet. The only woman who will probably ever accept him for his bad breath will probably be his mother, if I had to tell the truth. I would sooner cut off my nose and shove it up someone else's butt before actually smelling his horrid blast right in the face. Trust me, I have only seen the tip of the iceberg. TD's smell is a lot more worse than I can ever possibly imagine

written by HK

The Lame Game


I think I smell something bad. Really bad. Remember AD? He’s the “team captain” of the Arctic Aquatics swimming team. However, is really worthy of the title? I think not. The thirteen-year-old isn’t the normal Asian kid we speak of; he doesn’t do AOPS, he doesn’t do writing classes, and most of all, he’s way too fat. The obese kid really needs to go on a diet. All the fat stored in his body is too much; he has to let go of some of it. Some of his favorite pastimes also includetrolling others on Google Chat, ruining servers on Discord, and acting as E-girls on Roblox. Seriously, he’s a man, for God’s sake. It doesn’t make sense for a male to spend all his time online ruining the lives of other people. He’s got it all wrong and probably plans to live the rest of his life in his mother’s basement. When AD starts talking, my brain cells start dying a slow and painful death. And whenever he starts talking to his so-called ‘friends’, he’s probably mistaken them for people who give a shit about his fucking nonsense.

written by TM

The Damaged Brain


The boy PJ (from Wellesley Middle School) in the house! His athletic skils make up for his lack of common sense, but that isn't much better. There are multiple things he's good at, but thinking's not one of them. Let's start off with the things he's good at; Lacrosse, Lacrosse, and Lacrosse. Seriously, the stupid sport doesn't even pay well when you hit its major leagues, so what's the point of it? I mean, sure it gives you something to do when you're bored, but what else? Crappy Lax tournaments? That's literally it. However, there are so much things that our boy PJ can't do; school, thinking, and reading. The kid is almost as close to an illiterate blind man. Not gonna lie, but a crippled deaf man could probably read better than than PJ. To be honest, he's just an annoying short kid who wears his hat backwards. The only people who are friends with him are the exact same people; stupid, illiterate, and decent at sports. Seriously, do we need people like him in our world? I think not. We don't really need him; in fact, we could do a lot better. PJ's probably a lot more stupid than Derek Zoolander from the movie series (2001). I would extremely prefer others instead of shitty no-good kids like him.

written by BF

The Man-Child


Ever heard of a "Man-Child"? I'm sure you have. In the dictionary, a "Man-Child" is portrayed as 'one who does not behave in the calm, serious, or sensible way that you would expect from someone of his age'. Well, this definition suits one particular person well; SH (from Jonas Clarke Middle School). When he doesn't get his way, he cries. When his swimming coach doesn't approve of his skills, he cries. What other proof would you need for someone to believe that he is a variation of the popular definition of a "Man-Child"? Not only does he get sensitive about nearly everything, he behaves in a such a way that annoys people with his broken and ugly English. I mean, who likes hearing those type of people? My ears would rather wrinkle up and die than listen to him talk. Honestly, he gets so sensitive about everything, yet when he does the very thing that annoys himself, he doesn't give a shit. Talk about hypocrisy. Seriously, I'm surprised even a dumbass like LZ would make friends with SH. However, they both know enough to ignore EG.

written by DP

The Big Man


Ever wonder what goes on inside LZ's (current school: Jonas Clarke Middle School) tiny and pathetic brain? You guessed wrong. What he thinks so surely of himself are two things, which I'm sure is already obvious. Number one: Being the 'King' of the world. Number two: AG liking him. However, he can kiss both his dreams goodbye. You want some proof for both these claims? I'll give you proof. Ever heard of Google Chat? LZ acts like a total asshole while “moderating” the group discussions. He thinks he is so ‘big’ and acts like a mature adult. In real life, he’s just a 7th grader born somewhere in August. And with the secret affair with AG? I have more to share. You see, LZ is currently on a competitive swim team called Arctic Aquatics. During the daily practices, he flirts or tries hard to win AG’s approval or attention. Tough luck, kid. Look at yourself. LZ has brown hair, pale skin, a big nose, big eyes, tiny ears, a small neck, big, round, glasses, and an annoying 'mushroom' haircut: a classic nerdy Asian child. Don’t even try, LZ. Your deepest, darkest secrets just got revealed to the public. Still feeling big?

written by MW

The Infamous Brat


Our best friend and schoolmate, the infamous 14-year-old EG, has once again defied physics. His skills of ruining other people's lives has once again, proved its worth (not going to lie). As his 'so-called' parents fight again in his tiny little house (15 Bryant Rd, Lexington, MA), he has decided to take his anger onto the friendlies on the popular app, Discord. Ever wonder what his tiny brain is thinking about? EG thinks he's such a genius, but really, he's just an unpopular and ignorant brat. Other, better educated kids, such as DP and GZ think he's a bad influence, and to be honest, he really is. No friends, no brains, and no respect. Honestly, who could've knew that an uneducated kid could've lived in such a great school in Lexington? Definitely not me. EG makes guns and bullets for fun. This is the type of kid we're talking about; a dark, depressed, juvenile delinquent. This stupid kid somehow got into Nobles & Greenwald. Personally, I can't believe this crap. Sometimes I wonder how he even got a high score on his tests; could he be up to something else? Sounds about right to me.

written by EP

Got some dirt on another person you dislike strongly? Don't hesitate to join our staff and fill us in your gossip! We always love fresh news, especially when they can ruin other people's personal social lives!


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